Self-harm can look different from person to person. It can involve intentionally hurting yourself or doing something that causes injury, and it can happen in ways that are visible or less obvious to others.

You may not be sure whether what you're experiencing would be considered self-harm. You don't need to have a particular label for your experience before talking about it with a counsellor.

There isn't one reason why people self-harm, and there isn't always an obvious explanation.

Self-harm can be connected to many different experiences, thoughts, feelings, relationships, or circumstances. Sometimes a person has a clear sense of why they self-harm. Sometimes it can be difficult to understand, even for the person experiencing it.

Counselling can be a space to explore your own experience with curiosity.

You don't have to have acted on an urge to self-harm for it to be something you can talk about in counselling.

You might think about self-harm, experience urges, or find yourself wondering what it would be like without ever acting on those thoughts. You may understand where they come from, or you may not.

Whatever your experience looks like, you can bring it to counselling and explore what's happening without having to justify or explain it perfectly.

Stopping self-harm doesn't necessarily mean that thoughts or urges disappear.

You may have stopped recently or a long time ago and still find yourself thinking about self-harm at certain times. You may be wondering why those thoughts are still there, or simply want somewhere to talk about them.

Counselling can provide space to talk about those thoughts, understand your experience, and explore what feels important to you now.

You don't need to know why before you reach out.

Sometimes people have a clear understanding of their self-harm, while for others the reasons are harder to put into words. You may have questions about your own experience without knowing what the answers are.

Counselling can give you space to be curious about what's happening and see what you discover over time.

There isn't one way counselling for self-harm needs to look.

We start with your experience and what feels important to you. That might mean talking about self-harm itself, exploring thoughts and feelings, looking at relationships or experiences that feel connected, or simply having a place where you can talk openly.

If you'd like to explore tools or strategies, we can do that too. The pace and direction of counselling can be shaped together.

Your counsellor will also talk with you about safety when it is relevant. Counsellors have professional and ethical responsibilities when there are serious concerns about safety. In some circumstances, this may mean involving additional support, such as a trusted person, emergency services, or another appropriate resource. Whenever possible, your counsellor will talk with you about their concerns and involve you in deciding what happens next.

Your safety matters, and it can be part of the conversation without becoming the whole conversation.

If you want to stop self-harming or make a change, counselling can help you explore that without judgment.

We can look at what you've tried before, what you've noticed about your experience, and what might feel useful to you now. There isn't a single right way to approach change, and you don't have to figure it all out at once.

If you're worried about someone who may be self-harming, you don't have to know exactly what to say or how to respond.

Counselling can give you space to talk through your concerns, learn more about self-harm, and think about how you want to support the person you're worried about.

For parents and caregivers, this can also be a place to talk about your own experience of supporting a young person and the questions that come with it.

Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are not the same thing, although they can sometimes occur together.

People who self-harm may or may not experience thoughts about suicide. Someone can also have suicidal thoughts without self-harming.

If suicidal thoughts are part of your experience, you can talk about them in counselling. Your counsellor can help you talk through what's happening and explore what support might be helpful.

If you need immediate support or are concerned about your safety, please visit our Immediate Supportpage for crisis and emergency resources.

Talking about self-harm can feel vulnerable, and finding someone you feel comfortable talking to matters. It can help to find a counsellor who has experience working with self-harm and who will take the time to understand your experience rather than make assumptions about it.

You don't need to know exactly what you need before reaching out. A free 15-minute consultation is a chance to ask questions, talk about what you're looking for, and get a sense of whether counselling with us feels like a good fit.