Counselling for Couples
Relationships can be complicated. It can help to have a place to understand each other, connect, and work through things together.
Two people can care deeply about each other and still find themselves having the same arguments, misunderstanding each other, or feeling less connected than they used to.
Maybe you're going through a difficult period. Maybe something has changed in your relationship. Or maybe you simply want some help understanding each other and finding a better way forward.
Couples counselling can provide a space to slow things down, hear each other differently, and work through what's happening together.
At Sholinder Counselling Collective, couples counselling is collaborative, practical, and tailored to the people in the relationship. We'll start with what's happening for you and work together to find ways of understanding, communicating, and moving forward that feel right for both of you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Counselling For Couples
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There isn't one reason couples decide to come to counselling.
You might be navigating:
Communication difficulties
Frequent disagreements or conflict
Feeling disconnected from each other
Changes in your relationship
Differences in expectations or needs
Trust or intimacy concerns
Parenting or family responsibilities
A major life transition
Infidelity or a breach of trust
Difficult experiences that have affected the relationship
Uncertainty about what comes next
Sometimes there's a specific issue you'd like help with.
Sometimes you simply know that things don't feel the way you'd like them to.
You don't need to have a clear answer about what's happening before reaching out.
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There's no single way couples counselling has to look.
Sessions might involve talking through something that's been difficult, understanding how each of you is experiencing the situation, or finding different ways to approach conversations that haven't been going well.
Depending on what you're hoping to work on, counselling might involve:
Talking through a specific situation or disagreement
Understanding each other's perspectives
Exploring communication patterns
Finding better ways to have difficult conversations
Working on boundaries and expectations
Exploring trust and connection
Understanding each other's needs
Finding practical ways to handle disagreements
Reconnecting with what brought you together
Working through a change or difficult experience
Sometimes the focus is on something happening right now.
Sometimes it helps to take a step back and understand how you got here.
We'll work together to figure out what feels useful for your relationship.
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You don't have to agree about everything before coming to couples counselling.
In fact, that's often part of why people seek support.
You may remember the same conversation differently. You may have very different ideas about what needs to change. One person may want more connection while the other needs more space.
Couples counselling provides a place for both perspectives to be heard.
The goal isn't to decide who's right or wrong.
It's about understanding what's happening for each person and finding ways to communicate and move forward that feel workable for both of you.
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Sometimes couples find themselves having the same conversation over and over.
You start with one topic, but before long you're back in a familiar argument. You may both know how it usually ends, but still find it difficult to do something different in the moment.
Counselling can give you some space to slow those conversations down and look at what's happening.
Together, you can explore what each person is trying to communicate, how things are being heard, and what might make those conversations easier.
The goal isn't to never disagree. It's to find ways of working through disagreements that feel healthier and more productive.
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Sometimes couples reach a point where they realize they've been focused on work, children, family, or simply getting through everyday life.
The relationship may still be important, but there hasn't been much space for the two of you.
Counselling can be a place to reconnect, talk about things that may have been put aside, and think about what you want your relationship to look like going forward.
You don't need to be in crisis to want more connection.
Sometimes you simply want to make space for your relationship again.
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It's common for partners to come to counselling with different levels of comfort or enthusiasm.
One person may have been thinking about it for months. The other may be more uncertain about whether counselling will help.
You don't have to feel exactly the same way about counselling to start a conversation.
We can talk about what each of you is hoping for, answer questions, and help you understand what the process might look like.
You can take the time you need to decide whether it feels right for both of you.
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You don't have to know whether you need couples counselling before reaching out.
Maybe you're wondering whether individual counselling would be more helpful for one or both of you. Maybe you're looking for support around a specific situation. Or maybe you're not sure what kind of counselling makes the most sense.
A free 15-minute consultation gives you a chance to talk about what's happening and explore your options.
We'll also be honest about what we think might be helpful. That could mean couples counselling, individual counselling, another type of support, or a combination of approaches.
We'll help you figure out what makes sense from where you are now.
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Couples counselling involves both partners participating in counselling together. The focus is on the relationship, communication, and patterns between you, with space for both people to be heard.
Individual counselling is different. It gives one person their own space to focus on their experiences, concerns, and goals.
Sometimes couples counselling is the right place to start. Sometimes individual counselling may be more appropriate for one or both partners. In some situations, people may choose to have individual counselling alongside couples counselling, with separate counsellors.
If you're not sure what kind of support would make the most sense, you don't have to figure that out before reaching out. A free 15-minute consultation can help you talk through what's happening and explore your options.
Find a Counsellor Who Works With Couples
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Carmel Mohebati
Counsellor
Online and by phone across Canada | In-person in Victoria, BC